[CrackMonkey] MAKE TOILETS FAST!

Rick Moen rick at linuxmafia.com
Sun Sep 17 21:20:16 PDT 2000


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Date: 15 Sep 2000 18:44:34 -0000
Sender: Anonymous <nobody at remailer.ch>
Newsgroups: soc.culture.jewish
Subject: $$Make Money sending Toilets!!$$
From: Wm Grosvenor <21830875 at remailer.ch>
Reply-To: Wm Grosvenor <21830875 at 3web.net>
Message-ID: <442d05d88dd1428caf14e1237d77a8f8 at remailer.ch>

(If this e-mail was sent in error and you want to be removed from this
list, reply to 21830875 at 3web.net with REMOVE in the subject field, and
incinerate yourself, COMMIE FAGGOT PINKO ZHYD!)

It Works, Its Legal, Its Easy, Its Fun, so Why Not read this and
play??!!

Parents of 15-year old find 71,000 toilets hidden in closet. Does this
headline sound familiar? Of course it does. You most likely have seen
this story recently featured on a major nightly news program (USA).

His mother was cleaning and putting away laundry when she came across
a large brown paper bag that was suspiciously buried beneath some
clothes and a skateboard in the back of her 15-year-old son's
closet. Nothing could have prepared her for the shock she got when she
opened the bag and found it was full of toilets. Five toilets, twenty
toilets, fifty toilets -- HUNDREDS - all neatly rubber-banded in
labeled piles.

"My first thought was that he'd robbed a toilet store", says the
41-year-old woman, "There was over 71,000 toilets in that bag - that's
more than my husband collects in a year!"

The woman immediately called her husband at the car-dealership where
he worked to tell him what she'd discovered. He came home right away
and they drove together to the boy's school and picked him up. Little
did they suspect that where the toilets came from was more shocking
than actually finding it in the closet.

As it turns out, the boy had been sending out via e-mail on the
internet a type of "chain letter" to e-mail addresses that he obtained
off of the Internet. Every day after school for the past 2 months, he
had been doing this right on his computer in his bedroom.

"I just got this e-mail one day and I figured what the heck. I put my
name on it like the instructions said and I started sending it out",
says the clever 15-year-old.

The e-mail letter listed 5 addresses and contained instructions to send
one toilet to the person at the top of the list, then delete that
address and move the other 4 addresses up, and finally adding your
name and address to the bottom of the list.

The letter goes on to state that you would receive several thousand
toilets within 2 weeks if you sent out the letter with your name at
the bottom of the 5 address list "I get junk e-mail all the time, and
I really didn't think this was going to work", the boy continues.

Within the first few days of sending out the e-mail, The Post Office
Box that his parents had gotten him for his video game magazine
subscriptions began to fill up with not magazines, but envelopes
containing toilets.

"About a week later I rode (my bike) down to the post office and my
box had 1 magazine and about 300 toilets stuffed in it. There was a
yellow slip that said I had to go up to the (Post Office) counter- I
thought I was in trouble or something (laughs)". He goes on, "I went
up to the counter and they had a whole box of more toilets for me. I
had to ride back home and empty out my backpack 'cause I couldn't
carry them all".

Over the next few weeks, the boy continued sending out the e-mail.
"The toilets just kept coming in and I just kept sorting it in the
closet, I barely had time for my homework." He had also been riding
his bike to several area banks, exchanging the toilets for money -
twenties, fifties, and hundreds. "I didn't want the banks to get
suspicious so I kept riding to different banks, with like five
thousand toilets at a time in my backpack. I would usually tell the
lady at the bank that my dad had sent me (to exchange the toilets) and
he was outside waiting for me. One time the lady gave me a really
strange look and told me that she wouldn't be able to do it for me and
dad would have to come in and do it, but I just rode to the next bank
down the street (laughs)".

Suprisingly, the boy didn't have any reason to be afraid. The
reporting news team examined and investigated the so-called 'chain
letter' the boy was sending out and found it wasn't a chain-letter
after all. In fact, it was completely legal according to US postal and
Lottery laws, Title 18, Section 1302 and 1341, or Title 18, section 3
005 in the US code, also in the code of federal regualtions, Volume
16, Sections 255 and 436, which state a product or service must be
exchanged for money received.  Every toilet that he received contained
a little note that read, "Please add me to your mailing list". This
simple note made the letter legal, because he was exchanging a
service (adding the purchasers name to his mailing list) for toilet.

Here is the letter that the 15 year-old boy was sending out by e-mail.
You can do the exact same thing he was doing, simply by following the
instructions in the letter.
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-----------------------------------------

Here are the instructions on how to get 10,000 toilets in the next 2
weeks.

The GROSVENOR INTERNATIONAL TOILET GROUP is a multinational group of
businesses operating worldwide, presently based in northern Canada.
Some of our prominent activities include:
  
INTERNATIONAL INSTITUTE OF USED TOILETS INC. does International Toilet
Consulting. It has done assignments in South East Asia, including
Malaysia, Indonesia and Taiwan.
  
GROSVENOR TOILET CO. is an international toiler dealer and auction
firm for toilets for collectors. We now do LARGE TRADES / EXCHANGES
with dealers and collectors worldwide. As a service to collectors in
countries where dollars are scarce, we also offer COMPUTER PROGRAMS IN
EXCHANGE FOR TOILETS.  If YOU have a USED TOILET, Bill Grosvenor will
crap on it, and you will then SKYROCKET its value, since the world's
LARGEST ASSHOLE will have used it!  CERTIFIED ASSHOLES AVAILABLE TO
CRAP IN YOUR TOILET for small fee - contact ED KADACH, GROSVENOR
INTERNATIONAL CRAPPERS GROUP, for full details!
  
UNIQUE USED TOILET DISTRIBUTING has been an importer and dealer of
used toilets for more than 16 years. What's the secret to our success?
Simple: Bill Grosvenor's FULL OF SHIT, and PROUD OF IT! If YOUR TOILET
hasn't seen GROSVENOR SHIT, it's nearly worthless!
  
William Grosvenor , P.Mgr., FIC, FIAA - C.E.O.  GROSVENOR
INTERNATIONAL TOILET GROUP
  
If someone told you that you could make $400,000 a week selling used
toilets, you'd be skeptical, right? It seems some dumb FAGGOT COMMIE
JEW PINKOS do not understand the value of a good water closet, and do
not want you to discover my secrets. Well, I am here to help you every
step along the way, with the BILL GROSVENOR USED TOILET PROGRAM!

That's right! For a small investment of SIXTY DOLLARS CANADIAN (That's
less than thirty-five-cents Murrikan Dollers!), I will provide you with
2 like new toilets, complete with water closet. (Additional water
closets available at extra cost!)

Then I will show you how to parlay your used toilets into MILLIONS,
and explain how my record as a twice-convicted fraud artist provides
my unique qualifications to lead you to millions!

DO YOU REALIZE there are places in the world where people SHIT IN
BUSHES?  It seems the COMMIE FAGGOT PINKO JEWS don't want you to know
this, because you would be able to cut into the profitable CRAPPER
TRADE if you did!

THAT'S RIGHT! The JEWS control the toilet trade! Or at least they did
until BILL GROSVENOR came down the pike, leading his NETWORK TOILET
MARKETERS down the ROAD TO SUCCESS.

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:

1. At the bottom of this letter, you will find a list of names. 
2. Send a USED TOILET to the first person on the list - (I will sell them
to you for a lousy SIXTY BUCKS if you run out!).
3. Cross the first name off the list.
4. Add your name and address to the bottom of the list.

In no time at all, YOU WILL HAVE MILLIONS OF TOILETS, JUST LIKE MINE!

WARNING: DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN. ONE WINNIPEG MAN DID, AND GOT ME!

1. Bill Gruber, Used Toilet King, Deadmonton, Alberta
2. William Gruber, Toiletmonger, Deadmonton, Alberta
3. Billy Grosvenor, Crapper Tapper, Deadmonton, Alberta
4. Willy Grosvenor, Plunger Munger, Deadmonton, Alberta
5. Sario Grosvenor and all the little Grosvenors, International Crap
Consultants, Deadmonton, Alberta

Call 1-780-475-9668 for information on other exciting GROSVENOR
INTERNATIONAL GROUP programs, including the exciting new INVECTIVE
EXCHANGE!






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