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Sat Jun 26 04:40:38 PDT 2004

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There was a sheriff looking for a new deputy, and a Redneck went in to
apply for the job. "OK," said the sheriff, "What is 1+1?" The redneck
thought for a minute, and finally said, "11."The sheriff asked, "What two
days of the week start with the letter T?" The redneck said, "That's easy,
Today and Tomorrow." The sheriff said, "Now the last question, who killed
Abraham Lincoln?" The redneck thought really hard, and at last said, "I
don't know." The sheriff smiled and said, "Well, why don't you go home and
work on that." So the redneck went home and his wife asked him how it went.
The redneck replied, "Great! He already put me on a murder case!"
Two men, John and Jim, traveling through the country in America, stopped at
a small inn for dinner. On the table there was a large cup of mustard.
Thinking the contents were custard or a sweet of some kind, Jim took a
spoonful of it and put it in his mouth. Tears ran down his cheeks, but
wishing to have his friend John caught in the same trap, he said nothing of
the mistake he had made. The other man, seeing that his friend was crying,
said: "Listen, Jim, what are crying about?" "I was thinking of my father who
was hanged twenty years ago," Jim replied. Soon after, John took a spoonful
of the mustard, and as the tears started down his cheeks, Jim in his turn
said "What are you crying about?" "To think you were not hanged the same day
your father was." came the answer.
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