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It was at a five o'clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize
for his lateness."So good of you to come, Mr. Jones, and where is your
brother?""You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could
come, so we tossed up for it.""How nice! And so original, too! And you
won?""No," said the young man absently," I lost!" 
It was time for an elderly gentleman to be put into a nursing home, as his
grown children could no longer care for him.After a week, the children went
to visit their father at the nursing home. During the visit, the father
leaned to the right, and a nurse quickly came over and propped him up with a
pillow. A little while later, he leaned to the left, and again a nurse came
and propped him up with another pillow. The man's children were amazed at
how attentivethe home seemed to be, and questioned their father on how he
liked it there. He responded, "I've been treated well, but I've got to tell
you....they sure don't want you to fart here.
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