Guide Book To Flood Control Dam #3

Flood control dam #3 (FCD #3) was constructed in year 783 of the Great Underground Empire to harness the destructive power of the Frigid River. This work was supported by a grant of 37 million zorkmids from the central bureaucracy and your own omnipotent local tyrant Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive. This impressive structure is composed of 3.7 cubic feet of concrete, is 256 feet tall at the center, and 193 feet wide at the top. The reservoir created behind the dam has a volume of 37 billion cubic feet, an area of 12 million square feet, and a shore line of 36 thousand feet.

The construction of FCD #3 took 112 days from ground breaking to the dedication. It required a work force of 384 slaves, 34 slave drivers, 12 engineers, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. The work was managed by a command team composed of 234 bureaucrats, 2347 secretaries (at least two of whom could type), 12,256 paper shufflers, 52,469 rubber stampers, 245,193 red tape processors, and nearly one million dead trees.

We will now point out some of the more interesting features of FCD #3 as we conduct you on a guided tour of the facilities.

1) You start your tour here in the dam lobby. You will notice on your right that ...........

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The $7 Tours are a collection of rants, tutorials, and treatises on various subjects. The general format is that of a ten-page paper including a bibliography of further readings. The tours are designed to teach fundamentals of a concept without getting too bogged down in details. The tours make heavy use of analogy and example where appropriate, and should make for good lecture notes.

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