fortunes: rasher

<guinea-pig> all this talk about europe is making me crave some belgian waffles
<bz2> guinea-pig: They actually sell those in Belgium, but they call them Luik
      Waffles.
<bz2> It's unclear what they call them in Luik.
<megan_of_wutai> presumably more specific
<rasher> waffles from so and so street
<chris> Until eventually it gets down to a spatial location precise to the
        nearest atom.
<megan_of_wutai> and then we hit uncertainty
<chris> Below the Planck length nobody's quite sure what to call a Belgian
        waffle.

<Atob> I would like to edit this channel's config.sys
<Atob> I think there might be a fault.

<sneakums> ha ha wiccan
<sneakums> if i wanted to worship the moon, i'd join nasa

<sneakums> I love the idea of an important e-mail message being stuck ON A BUS.

<Zen> GAR GAR FUCKING GAR
<Zen> I should take steps to avoid getting this pissed off.
<sneakums> Such as murder.

<squinky> I had a doughnut and a banana.
<squinky> I was going for the full range of genitalia-based foodstuffs.

<squinky> I am diffing diffs
<squinky> this is far too meta for my poor little brane

<MauvePornoRod> I have to admit that I only have the vaguest notion of how
                computers work anymore
<MauvePornoRod> There's the part that makes the whir noise
<MauvePornoRod> And the part where the prOn appears
<MauvePornoRod> And the part with all the breadcrumbs in it
<MauvePornoRod> And that's about all I know
<MauvePornoRod> Oh! And there's this thing here with the blinkenlights on it

<psykoyiko> it's funny, of all the people we met in Europe, the americans we
            met were the biggest jerks
<psykoyiko> everyone else was very friendly

<neale> stepping through code that's been -O3d is like trying to tie your shoes
        in 6-D

<sneakums> GNOME's biggest deficient is that the apps don't have a memory meter
           in each of their about boxes.

<sneakums> Keith Packard is a throbbing be-veined penis all by hisself.

<sneakums> I love how everything tastes of chemicals.
<sneakums> I'm living in the future!

<sneakums> Oh well.  I guess you can't get all the chicks *AND* be a great
           shell coder.

<tjfontaine> I'm stuck in 1992 here, it is pitiful
<tjfontaine> $RCSfile: perl.c,v $$Revision: 4.0.1.8 $$Date: 1993/02/05 19:39:30 $
<tjfontaine> Patch level: 36

<teferi> huh, so leonardr works for canonical
<deejoe> eventually, everyone will

<sneakums> ENTERPRISE SERVICE BUS
<Screwtape> All aboard!
<teferi> fare: ten thousand souls

<fo0bar> no, I am not making a $550 auto insurance payment via PayPal.  and I'm
         a little scared my insurance company asked me

<baconaut> > During the month, Muslims fast (do not eat) from sunrise to
           sunset.
<baconaut> What, people need explaining what fasting is?
<deejoe> baconaut: you ever been to Dayton?
<fxc> baconaut: otherwise they would think it was a powerup,
<fxc> during Ramadan, Muslims have +8 speed

<bz2> Whoops, the DOW slipped another 170 points since baconaut linked to that
      Google thing.
<teferi> The question on everyone's mind is "will it go below 10k?"
<teferi> whoa, it drops a point every time I refresh
<baconaut> teferi: STOP REFRESHING
* teferi controls the vertical, apparently

<Screwtape> But of course, installing things into system-wide directories is
            not the Macintosh Way, so who cares if it's possible?
<sneakums> The Macintosh Way is to amputate your hands and thank Apple for your
           lovely new stumps.

<X11R5> I just call me corinne.
<fo0bar> X11R5: hello, corinne.
<X11R5> fo0bar: Don't call me corinne.

<megan_of_wutai> there is no exam, SpaceHobo
<megan_of_wutai> not for a greencard
<SpaceHobo> yeah
<SpaceHobo> there's a lottery!

<baconaut> "Mozilla/5.0 (SymbianOS/9.3; U; Series60/3.2 Nokia6220c-1/03.46;
           Profile/MIDP-2.1 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 ) AppleWebKit/413 (KHTML,
           like Gecko) Safari/413"
<megan_of_wutai> what the hell
<megan_of_wutai> HI GUYS, I AM EVERYTHING

<SpaceHobo> fo0bar: open a bug!
<SenatorCoffee> and eat the goo inside

* froggyman informs everyone that today is international bacon day
<rasher> froggyman: !
* froggyman checks again, but finds mixed results within a week of each other
<froggyman> there for it must be international bacon week!

<gevaerts> Have you ever played with bouncy balls of different sizes? If you
           have several with diameters that go up in powers of two, and you
           drop a stack of them (the largest at the bottom), only the smallest
           one at the top bounces, but with the energy from all of them
<gevaerts> calculations say that if you have eight of them the top one will
           achieve escape velocity

<Randall> This plane is all fancy and modern, with blue-purple underlighting
          and translucent plastic.
<Randall> It's like I'm sitting in a casemod.

<evilnick> LambdaCalculus37: Do Movember too!
<LambdaCalculus37> evilnick: Go for the Magnum, P.I. look? :P
<evilnick> LambdaCalculus37: Hell yeah!
<gevaerts> Lambda, P.I.?
<evilnick> gevaerts: Do you mean: λ, π?

<gevaerts> scorche: you're a serious irssi user, right? Do you know a good way
           to deal with /msg windows to people who use nick a, tell you
           something, then rename themselves to a_home, then login as a from
           the webclient and tell you another thing (which goes to a new
           window), and so on until you have dozens of windows for them?
<Torne> gevaerts: /ignore

<Llorean> What comes first, 007 - James Bond, or "01 - Pilot"
<Llorean> Sometimes leading zeros are intentional
<LinusN> Llorean: he is not named 007 to be sorted in a specific order
<LinusN> it's because he has a license to kill

<teferi> oh good, dirty hack seems to have worked
<teferi> delicious data deduplication
<teferi> i'm basically putting a hierarchial model and a relational model in a
         jar here and shaking it to make them fight

<Screwtape> teferi: I love putting together Ikea stuff, it's like Guitar Hero
            but for carpentry.

<ConversationKenge> res0: i heard carl sagan was the basis for all judd apatow
                    movies, on account of his obesity  and obsession with
                    childish notions of sex
<res0> ConversationKenge: neat
<ConversationKenge> Tru™ story
<res0> where's the punchline? :<
<ConversationKenge> res0: judd apatow sucks
<ConversationKenge> HAHAHAH!
<Dumont> @sexyfun.net
<ConversationKenge> zingaroooni
<res0> ConversationKenge: that is a punchline in that it makes me want to punch
       you
<ConversationKenge> get in line!

<Randall> the <MIDI> tag was messing up the <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="SCHEME"> tag.

<fo0bar> I just found 4 USB sticks hidden in various parts of my laptop bag
<fo0bar> 128, 256, 512, and 1024
<Octal> it's like nerd loose change

<neale> All the tutorials for these things are like "look how easy it is to
        build a two-directory project in my pet language!"
<teferi> and then comes the punching.
<neale> pretty much.
<neale> except it's me, punching my own genitals.

<GodEater> Account Balance : £1036.00. Available Balance : £632.00
<GodEater> what's happening to the other £400 then ?!?!?!
<gevaerts> GodEater: it's £404, also known as  £not-there

<GodEater> dammit
<GodEater> it was a bloody lie!
<GodEater> I went to all that trouble to get an IPV6 address.
<GodEater> and the star wars ascii is the same!
<GodEater> it's not in colour at all
<GodEater> "The IPV6 version is the same as the IPV4 version. The difference is
           in the visitors."
<GodEater> the swine

<neale> guys help me write this presentation
<neale> here's what I have after 8 hours of working on it:
<neale> .SL LANL-CTF
<neale> .PP
<neale> I'm not sure I want to use a plain paragraph though so that second line
        might have to go.
<sneakums> if you select just the right jerkcity cartoon for the first slide,
           you won't need any others

<teferi> > As it turns out, the current performance in most cases was actually
         better in pure software than in cairo-xlib (the latest stable backend
         for cairo).
<teferi> ^- ouch
<fuzzie> what's this?
<Dumont> i understand this was an unrecoverable fuckup

<Screwtape> rasher: Yeah, the stuff about composition and lighting and other
            techniquey things is all pretty good.
<Screwtape> The stuff about anal probes, less so.
<Screwtape> http://www.kenrockwell.com/analprobe/

<fo0bar> ATTENTION
<Dumont> ALL RISE!
<fo0bar> I have just made salsa verde that is acceptable
<fo0bar> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<fo0bar> so, don't pee after chopping jalapenos

<fo0bar> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXB83Heh3_c <-- direct link
<fxc> tgansk bro
<fxc> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
<fxc> i wish i had tnot seen that
<fxc> why did you show me
<fxc> i am watching it agian

<teferi> just remember, if you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them
         and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the
         One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he
         comes.

<nemo> surely unix hacker isn't about length, but girth also?
<SpaceHobo> of beard?
<nemo> what else?
<Dumont> You're only making it harder for yourself, nemo.

<fo0bar> huh, there are guided tours of the Nevada Test Site
<sarah> yes
<fo0bar> (Unguided tours are the ones where they shoot you)

<Torne> spam this morning: Subject: Raising prick costs almost nothing
<Torne> but presumably bringing your child up as a decent human being is
        expensive

<JdGordon> apparently the little hole at the bottom of the phone isnt for a
           reset pin
<scorche> ...
* gevaerts wonders if JdGordon just broke the microphone

<Screwtape> Man, this LCA2010 talk is 89MB for 39min.
<Screwtape> Screw you, H264! Theora rocks!
<sneakums> the h264 version is half the size, in 3d, and comes with an aroma
           track of wellington harbour on a summer's day

<teferi> BUILD SUCCESSFUL <-- :>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<bk> yay
<fuzzie> is the result, in fact, an empty file?
<teferi> no, it's much worse
<teferi> it is, in fact, a RPM.
<fuzzie> :<

<emad> i'm ok with bathroom cameras, i've been mailing my feces to government
       officials for year

<teferi> you either have rules that apply universally, or you're subject to the
         whim of whoever's in charge
<teferi> there is no third option
<neale> robot overlords
<neale> there's always a third option, teferi

<Screwtape> http://bythom.com/ <-- Your photography assignments for today.
<sneakums> I assume that's a site about hacking Python while you have a cold.

<GodEater> you're planning on becoming a professional hobo?
<AlexP> GodEater: Is there a trade body?
<GodEater> AlexP: no, but I hear there's a Union
<AlexP> GodEater: I can't imagine they have much leverage
<AlexP> I mean, what are they going to do?  Go on strike and stop working?
<GodEater> AlexP: I think their leverage is in terms of turning up and hanging
           around, rather than stopping what you expect them to do.

<bz2> Reading SA without a user account is a bit frustrating.
<neale> that's how they bleed that $10 from you
<bz2> Well gently caress them.

<eythian> X11R5: be Dumont
<Dumont> I'm trying!
<X11R5> eythian: ^-- Dumont dumont dumont.

<jp> asdfwert
<res0> 3456
<rasher> <zxc
* res0 confiscates rasher's non-compliant keyboard
* rasher throws blåbærgrød at res0
<res0> luckily I'm wearing my unicode poncho

* bertrik half-watches some cheesy james bond movie
<rasher> That doesn't really narrow it down
<bertrik> This is the one with sharks in it
<krazykit> was that thunderball?
<bertrik> no, guess again :)
<bertrik> I think there's no lasers involved in this one yet
<krazykit> moonraker?
<bertrik> no
<bertrik> it does feature an underground lair though
<krazykit> that describes many of the movies!
<petur> dr no?
<bertrik> another clue: james bond sleeps with a girl with a stupid name

<sarah> they sure ate an imprssive hole in the silicone sealant
<sarah> you know what would be a good idea? insecticide infused caulk
<sarah> probably a bad idea

<squinky> water in my apartment is shut off for maintenance.  I got thirsty so
          I had to cook some ice cubes on the stove

<pedro> i'm making business cards
<pedro> out of quartered punch cards
<pedro> they're a little smaller than the standard ATX form factor business
        card
<pedro> but who cares
<Dumont> Only the Shadow cares.
<SpaceHobo> heh
<SpaceHobo> that's cool
<Dumont> They had that at Xerox PARC 40 years ago.

<saratoga> honestly i don't see much point optimizing ape
<saratoga> it just encourages people to use ape
<saratoga> we should really work on a way to make the ape encoder software
           electrically shock people who try to use it

<eythian> turns out that wearing shorts to work makes it rain.

<Screwtape> I think having beardos campaigning outside City Hall for the right
            fork children, would not be well received.

<jhMikeS> So, I must ask: if it is true that all you have is a hammer, then
          everything looks like a nail, then the hammer must look like a nail,
          so how would you know have a hammer?

<evilnick_B> What sort of a name is Bryant?
<evilnick_B> Sounds like someone called Bryan got greedy for an extra letter

<Stereo> I don't know whose idea it was to make a planet that wasn't a perfect
         sphere, but if I ever catch that idiot... :)

<seKer82[IND]> The last really good space based horror movie was Event Horizon
<seKer82[IND]> that shit had me freaked for months
<seKer82[IND]> and I don't even live in space!

<B4gder> 7bits should be enough!
<rasher> We can use the last bit for partying
<petur> paritying

<dawidi> speaking of dubious claims... my wristwatch is telling me it is now
         January 46th, 1985, and shortly before midnight in a timezone called
         "QBU"

* urban_mackerski isn't sure Ireland has any summer sports
<urban_mackerski> It's never really come up

* gevaerts watches maven download the internet

<soap> 83GB left to fill with zeros
<soap> 112 down
<soap> maybe if I dd'd from /dev/uzero it would go faster?

<evilnick> There's a shampoo advertised here that claims "up to 100% reduction
           in dandruff". Clearly the reduction of 100% of dandruff is
           unrealistic, but it could happen. Probably.
<n17ikh> it probably burns your scalp off
<n17ikh> 100% dandruff reduction achieved by 100% skin removal

* gevaerts figures out that a longer twitter username is better
<gevaerts> It leaves less space for your opponents to reply

<bertrik> someone told me I opened a banana the wrong way
<bertrik> telling me I should open it "like a monkey" does, which is
          allegedly from the bottom end
<bertrik> so I looked up videos on youtube of monkeys opening bananas, they use
          their feet, or just bite in the middle of the banana!