I am currently seaking employment with your company, and feal that I could benefit the entire project. Although I'm not qualified for a position, I figured you could just give me a job as a janitor and let me go door to door and work something out for myself.

In fact, I don't know why you have an employee relations department at all.

I've taken the liberty of building a bomb, and I intend to use it.

I know all of the buzz words:

Networking

Real time

World Wide Web

Plus several others.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely
Damon Lyon