"roya naini" sung to simon and garfunkel's "richard cory"they say that roya naini knows one half of this whole town
with her BBS connections to spread her fame around,
born into society not *quite* an only child,
she had everything a geek could want--her modem, PC, and time...
but i--i'm just a branch naini
and i curse the life i'm livin'
and i curse that i'm not elite
and i wish that i could be--oh i wish that i could be
oh i wish that i could be--roya naini.
sysops upload her picture almost everywhere she "goes":
"roya naini, at a coffeeshop" "roya at a punk rock show"
and the rumors of her fanclub (for a nobody she's not)--
oh, she surely must be happy...with everything she's got.
but i--i'm just a branch naini
na i curse my ancient XT
and i curse my geekless scene
and i wish that i could be--oh i wish that i could be
oh i wish that i would be--roya naini.
Oh, she never gave to charity, she said she hadn't much.
And she saw that we were doubtful, but she would not let on as such.
So you really cannot wonder when you always seem to hear:
"Roya Naini went home last night, and put a Q-Tip in her ear."
Whenever Roya Naini went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at her.
"Is that the always famous ana ng?"
"No, you freaks, I'm Roya. What the hell."
And she was always hard to understand,
And she was always creepy when she talked.
But still she boggled minds when she logged in,
And said her odd things while we sat and gawked.
She was not rich--not as you tend to think--
Financially, she was all too normal.
But still she was so eerily elite,
To make us wish that we were in her place.
So on we typed, and waited for the light,
And went so un-elite for years and years.
And Roya Naini, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a Q-Tip in her ears.
- Roya Naini
From the Poem "Richard Cory" by the ever incomprehensible Edwin Arlington Robinson (EAR)