> I am a graphic designer, web designer, illustrator and am interested in
> working with you. I have attached my resume as a word.doc. You can also view
> that and my work samples at www.BASSARTS.com/resume.htm.

Mr. Bass,

Thank you for your big, stupid, unsolicited Word document, which I did not
read. We're currently not hiring graphic designers, web designers OR
illustrators, who are a dime a dozen and goddamned annoying primadonnas to
boot. The combination of the three must be damned near intolerable.

Our only openings right now are for spitoon cleaners and cosmonauts, and we're
reserving those positions as union featherbeds. Anyways, I doubt your skills
would apply -- you wouldn't know how to dock to Mir if your life depended on
it.

We will keep your resume on file for 6 months just in case another job comes up
that we can reject you for.

Good luck in your future endeavors,

~Mr. Bad