You are carrying:
  A leaflet
  A pink slip from HavenCo
  A steering wheel (attached to your crotch)
  Kernel support for JAVA binaries (obsolete) (NEW)
  A euro (tarnished, on a bicycle)
  A digital clock that is stopped at "2:42"
  A Hobo Nickel with the face of Rick Boucher carved into it
  A satchel
  A Theo de Raadt commemorative dollar coin
  Two cookies from Potbelly's and a puddle of melted ice-cream
  A copy of "Emadonics For Dummies" (slightly foxed)
  A nasty-looking OpenSSH advisory
  An oversized business suit
  A three-pack of underoos (unopened)
  An erlenmeyer flask containing ether (uncorked)
  Six dollar bills, snugly wrapped in a five
  An oath of fealty to the Regents of the University of California (unsigned)
  The ten of diamonds
  The ace of spuds
  A can of emergency bacon
  The Omelette of Supreme Power