[crackmonkey] Evil Hong Kong Kung-Fu Legions Petition For Right To Attack Two At A Time

[Nick Moffitt]

VICTORIA, HONG KONG--The Red Dragon
Legion, a union representing Hong Kong's 22 largest evil kung-fu goon
squads, formally petitioned the Hong Kong action-film industry Monday
to lift its long-term ban on dual-attacking in fights against the
forces of good. "We feel it is both reasonable and fair to permit evil
henchmen to pair up, attacking the hero two at a time," the petition
read. The union cited a study which found that from 1989 to 1997, 100
percent of diabolical armies who took on lone heroes in a single-file
fashion were defeated.

	The Onion has sold out, though.  MTV book deal my ass.

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