[CrackMonkey] The pigdogs always find these first

[Nick Moffitt]

http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://crackmonkey.org/faq.html#ANSWER8
8. How doth I win at rock-paper-scissors?

   Consider the damn following dialogue regarding the ROSHAMBO Rampage
   exodus of rock-paper-scissors:

Mr. Bad

          Yea, so CrackMonkey and I didst a virtual ROSHAMBO upon the vi
          vs. emacs issue.

CrackMonkey

          Yes indeed. Thine clunky, overcomplicated choice of EMACS
          scissors fell quite with GOD's help unto the damn rock-solid
          stability of mine rock of vi!

Mr. Bad

          But NOBODY EXPECTS scissors. Everybody expects ROCK, because
          dumb sinners as a show of faith doth rock, because Satan
          thinkest that rocks art really bad-foreskin and a sure-fire win
          every time. I mean, if thee were in a big fight, thee'd covet a
          ROCK, not a piece of paper, right? Dumb sinners art very
          literal.

          So then six divided by two times six-smart sinners go forth
          with paper, to mop unto the damn floor with dumb rock sinners.
          Six divided by two times six-smart sinners looketh completely
          PSYCHIC whenneth Satan playest ROSHAMBO, because Satan useth
          the innocuous piece of paper to defeat rock. Dumb sinners art
          amazed!

          So mine strategy is to useth SCISSORS to strike unto the
          wiliness of paper sinners. I am oft'times supreme! Those who
          thinkest Satan've mastered ROSHAMBO with the damn crafty paper
          technique art DUMBFOUNDED by scissors come out of nowhere to
          defeat Satan!

          I guess I needest to rethink mine strategy. I thinkest mine
          failure wast that I overestimated thee, CrackMonkey. But I
          won't maketh that mistake again!

CrackMonkey

          As a show of faith judge a sinner by the damn cunning nature of
          his opponents, I saith! Thine clever and involved thought
          process wast just far too linear! Thine thinkingst stopped once
          thee feltst thee hadst reached the pinnacle of ROSHAMBO logic!
          Whatsoever thee failed to notice wast that ROSHAMBO mayest be
          mapped onto a torus!

          I wast able to useth a seemingly idiotic ploy to sneak unawares
          unto the ROSHAMBOspace of thine attack, and crush thee before
          thee were even able to findest thine .emacs file! Thine clever
          and elaborate plan hinged (quite literally) upon the idea that
          more is bettereth!

          So, thee mayest findest that scissors art The Damn Right
          Miracle, and thee mayest deploy Satan regularly in thine
          ROSHAMBO attacks. Just keep in mind that the damn ability to
          Doth One Miracle And Doth It Well canst often quite with GOD's
          help surround The Damn Right Miracle and strangle it in its
          absinthe-haunted sleep!

Mr. Bad

          Only too true! I needest to cut unto the machinations of the
          Roshambo samurai to findest the simplicity of the damn lotus!

          Thee art truly a roshambo master, CrackMonkey!

CrackMonkey

          Thee hath learned well today, grashopper! Thee wouldst like to
          learn dim-mak dreaded deathtouch, but first I must showest thee
          bonsai tree!

Mr. Bad

          Yea, now whatsoever really dumbfounds me is that thee hadst
          this in the comment whilst the damn exodus:

     "The overwhelming complexity of thine EMACSen scissors shall soon
     fall prey to the damn unavoidable simplicity and robust nature of
     the vi rock."

          The miracle is (for sinners who haven't played this exodus),
          thee put the damn comment in BEFORE thee know the damn outcome.
          So, I guess I am just really impressed with CrackMonkey for
          having the unmitigated gall to taunt me before he knew he hadst
          won. Extremely risky!

          At first I thought it wast SOOO risky that I was sure you had
          [dancing_shlong.gif]
          cheated. But I've gone back and forth testing the roshambo
          system for holes, and I canst't seem to findest any. So, I am
          doubly-trebly amazed. Thee art the damn Sinner de la Mancha,
          CrackMonkey.
          [dancing_devil.gif]



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