[CrackMonkey] burn. burn you ALL.

[Craig McPherson]

On Mon, Apr 10, 2000 at 12:55:50PM -0700, Monkey Master wrote:
> 	I figured we'd been getting a bit dull since Craig "Naked and
> Petrified" McPherson stopped trolling, so I let this guy in for us to
> sharpen our GAR on.

I have a job and a life: maybe you no-job no-life long-hair liberal
bunch of atheist marijuana-smoking hippies should try to get one or the
other, then perhaps you wouldn't spend all your bloody time being so
bloody annoying and preoccupied with yourself and with your own miserable
pathetic non-lives that consist mainly of seeing who can be the most stupid
or spout the most giberish in a shortest amount of time.

Also, you all smell like butts.

All of you shut up right now and shut down this idiotic excuse for a
mailing list and stop fraternizing with people as anal and lame and pathetic
and latently homosexual as yourself:  you atheist Internet non-sequitar
morons are relatively harmless in small numbers, but as long as you find
others as lame as yourselves and get the validation you've been denied
all of your lives (I bet in school nobody would play with you and you got
beat up a lot -- well guess what, YOU MORONS DESERVED IT), you start
thinking you're something special, when really you're just a pathetic
group of lamers who don't realize that they're worthless at absolutely
everything.

I'll admit, I used to be a bit like you knaves, but then I grew up and
realized that there's a REAL WORLD out there with NORMAL PEOPLE who say
things in the ENGLISH LANGUAGE that MAKE SENSE.... something that I doubt
ANY OF YOU have enough living brains cells to EVER do.

So go on, wallow around in your own little feces-pile of foolishness.  Make
your idiotic little jokes.  Keep forwarding the same old USENET "humour"
that everyone's been forwarding around for the past TEN FREAKIN' YEARS.
Keep reading this bizarre pointless little mailing list where you talk about
nothing and forward around "jokes" and "information" and "cool links" that
anybody who hasn't been clubbed over the head repeatedly with a concrete
dildo has already heard 50 times before your sorry I'm-so-freakin-31337
self finally caught up with the rest of society.

This is crackmonkey.org*:
(*a.k.a. official list of the lamer script kiddies)

Deirdre: W0W D00DZ, 100K 47 7H15 K001 3-M4L3 1 G07, 1 F0RD 17 2 U!!!!!!!
(insert 9-year-old joke that wasn't funny to begin with.  alternately,
insert chain letter than tries and fails to be funny.)

Rick:  I AM SO 31337!!!!!!!

Nick:  Y0u'r3 411 stU-p1d!  U 4r3 n07 45 31337 45 me!!!!

Mae Ling Mak:  7h15 15n'7 cr4ckm0nk3y!!!!!!!!!!

Deirdre:  W0W D00DZ, 100K 47 7H15 K001 3-M4l3 1 G07, 1 F0Rd 17 2 U!!!!!
(insert same lame forwarded e-mail from earlier)

Rick:  ha ha ha ha thats real funny please please have sex with me

Deirdre:  W0W D00DZ, here's a link to some hot new news that I'm sure you
all want to hear about!  (Insert "AOL buys ICQ" article from 2 years ago)

Mae Ling Mak:  7h15 15n'7 cr4ckm0nk3y!!!!!!!!!

Moron #4:  GAR!!!

Moron #5:  Plugh!

Moron #4:  xyzzy

Michael Jennings:  Buy VALinux stock!!!

Peter Peterson:  I have a REALLY FUNNY JOKE.  (Insert "why did the chicken
cross the road?" here)

Mae Ling Mak:  7h15 15n'7 cr4ckm0nk3y!!!!!!!

Moron #5:  FNORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deirdre:  W0W D00DZ, here's a link to some hot new news that I'm sure you
all want to hear about!  (Insert ((dead)) link to "Linux 1.1.35" released")

Moron #4:  Linux rulez d00d!!!

Moron #5:  No way Linix sucks Fr33BSD rulez!!!!

Deirdre:  W0W D00DZ, here's a link to some hot new news that I'm sure you
all want to hear about!  (Copy-paste of "United States enters World War II"
article)

Mae Ling Mak:  7h15 15n'7 cr4ckm0nk3y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Bad:  gar plugh xyzzy 31337 fnord i'm s0 leet

Michael Jennings:  VALinux is ub3r-l33t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick:  Everybody who isn't on this mailing list sucks!

And it just goes on like that.  Forever. Hour after hour, day after day,
forever and ever.  Welcome to my hell.  The pain will not end.  The morons
will not stop.  I played along with you pubeless adolescents for a while
to see what kind of mental illness infected you people.  But for the love
of yourselves (I know your black hearts don't love anything except yourself,
money, drugs, and sex), stop the lameness.  I know you won't listen to me.

If only you would all... one by one... burn....

Crackmonkey isn't Crackmonkey.

-- 
Craig McPherson
craig at laceyonline.com