[CrackMonkey] no sexual content express or implied

Mr. Bad mr.bad at pigdog.org
Fri Feb 11 20:33:52 PST 2000


>>>>> "WM" == Warren Mann <broken at warmann.com> writes:

    WM> Hey, you have something on your nose... some brown
    WM> stuff... better go wipe it off.

Hey, junior: I advise you to back up off me, as I am not pleasant
or interesting flame bait. Not only am I really STUPID and UNCREATIVE
when it comes to online argument bullshit, but I am also EASILY
FRUSTRATED, am PHYSICALLY VIOLENT and have POOR IMPULSE control. Cases
in point:

        * December 14, 1989: in a discussion on a NirvanaNet node I got
          tripped up on the fine points of differences in the use of
          FOSSIL drivers by PC-BOARD and TELEGARD, and was brutally
          mocked by another user for my ignorance. I tracked down my
          persecutor eight days later on the street outside a Lower
          Haight cafe where she used the public terminal, and ran her
          over several times with my Toyota Corolla station wagon.

        * July 27th, 1994: penned in on both sides in a Usenet
          argument about C bracing style, I downed 35 Vivarin tablets,
          drove to San Diego, CA at 4AM, smashed in the door to
          housing co-op on UCSD campus, pulled a particularly
          sharp-tongued grad student out of bed, put a mechanical
          pencil through his eye, and threw him off a 4th-story
          balcony into the parking lot below.

        * January 3, 1996: Responding to a plea for MIME help on
          gnus-users mailing list, I was roundly excoriated for
          "off-topic" postings. I took two boats and a train to
          Toronto, Ontario, where I followed my main suspect home from
          her workplace, and broke into her house where she, her
          mother, her husband, and her twin daughters were sleeping. I
          burnt the whole three-story structure to the ground.

        * May 4, 1998: Got caught in the crossfire of a discussion of
          FreeBSD filesystem benchmarks at a brown-bagger as part of
          an industry conference in Zurich. Leapt across 4 rows of
          audience members, grabbed one arguer and put my fountain pen
          through his left eye. Chased down the other arguer who had
          run for the door, threw him down a flight of stairs and then
          chased him to the floor below, where I kicked him with my
          Vans slip-ons until every one of his ribs was broken.

        * August 10, 1999: Made the mistake of suggesting  in a
          linux.com discussion forum that it may not hurt to give
          LinuxOne the benefit of the doubt, and was trounced by eight
          different people on a point by point basis. Used dental
          records and HTTP cookie traces to locate each and every one
          of the respondents to my message and track them to their
          homes. Three of the scoffers got my now-trademark
          pen-through-the-eye-socket treatment in various cities
          around the US; one was torched in his car in Barcelona,
          Spain; two more (coworkers) were pushed off the same bridge
          near Sydney, Australia on two consecutive nights; one was
          smothered in his sleep on an American Airlines jetliner from
          Seattle to Boston; and the last was pushed in front of a
          subway train during Manhattan rush hour.
          
The upshot of this catalog is that it would not be beyond me in the
LEAST to fly out to bumblefuck Kansas City and beat some two-joke
pipsqueak to death with a lead pipe.

~Mr. Bad

-- 
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 Mr. Bad <mr.bad at pigdog.org> | http://pigdog.org/ |  RoR - Alucard
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