[CrackMonkey] no sexual content express or implied
Mr. Bad
mr.bad at pigdog.org
Fri Feb 11 20:33:52 PST 2000
>>>>> "WM" == Warren Mann <broken at warmann.com> writes:
WM> Hey, you have something on your nose... some brown
WM> stuff... better go wipe it off.
Hey, junior: I advise you to back up off me, as I am not pleasant
or interesting flame bait. Not only am I really STUPID and UNCREATIVE
when it comes to online argument bullshit, but I am also EASILY
FRUSTRATED, am PHYSICALLY VIOLENT and have POOR IMPULSE control. Cases
in point:
* December 14, 1989: in a discussion on a NirvanaNet node I got
tripped up on the fine points of differences in the use of
FOSSIL drivers by PC-BOARD and TELEGARD, and was brutally
mocked by another user for my ignorance. I tracked down my
persecutor eight days later on the street outside a Lower
Haight cafe where she used the public terminal, and ran her
over several times with my Toyota Corolla station wagon.
* July 27th, 1994: penned in on both sides in a Usenet
argument about C bracing style, I downed 35 Vivarin tablets,
drove to San Diego, CA at 4AM, smashed in the door to
housing co-op on UCSD campus, pulled a particularly
sharp-tongued grad student out of bed, put a mechanical
pencil through his eye, and threw him off a 4th-story
balcony into the parking lot below.
* January 3, 1996: Responding to a plea for MIME help on
gnus-users mailing list, I was roundly excoriated for
"off-topic" postings. I took two boats and a train to
Toronto, Ontario, where I followed my main suspect home from
her workplace, and broke into her house where she, her
mother, her husband, and her twin daughters were sleeping. I
burnt the whole three-story structure to the ground.
* May 4, 1998: Got caught in the crossfire of a discussion of
FreeBSD filesystem benchmarks at a brown-bagger as part of
an industry conference in Zurich. Leapt across 4 rows of
audience members, grabbed one arguer and put my fountain pen
through his left eye. Chased down the other arguer who had
run for the door, threw him down a flight of stairs and then
chased him to the floor below, where I kicked him with my
Vans slip-ons until every one of his ribs was broken.
* August 10, 1999: Made the mistake of suggesting in a
linux.com discussion forum that it may not hurt to give
LinuxOne the benefit of the doubt, and was trounced by eight
different people on a point by point basis. Used dental
records and HTTP cookie traces to locate each and every one
of the respondents to my message and track them to their
homes. Three of the scoffers got my now-trademark
pen-through-the-eye-socket treatment in various cities
around the US; one was torched in his car in Barcelona,
Spain; two more (coworkers) were pushed off the same bridge
near Sydney, Australia on two consecutive nights; one was
smothered in his sleep on an American Airlines jetliner from
Seattle to Boston; and the last was pushed in front of a
subway train during Manhattan rush hour.
The upshot of this catalog is that it would not be beyond me in the
LEAST to fly out to bumblefuck Kansas City and beat some two-joke
pipsqueak to death with a lead pipe.
~Mr. Bad
--
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Mr. Bad <mr.bad at pigdog.org> | http://pigdog.org/ | RoR - Alucard
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