[CrackMonkey] Jesux
Mr. Bad
mr.bad at pigdog.org
Tue Apr 3 12:05:41 PDT 2001
>>>>> "RW" == Rick Welykochy <rick at praxis.com.au> writes:
RW> Turing is spinning in his grave. So is Babbage.
RW> Turing: So this is what has become of the comuting device!
RW> Babbage: <spin spin spin spin>
RW> Turing: I agree. <spin spin spin>
Turing: So this is what has become of the comuting device!
Babbage: Commuting device?! What are you babbling about, you pinko
sodomite syndicalist?
Turing: Sorry, computing device. I have this lisp thing.
Babbage: I *know* about LISP already. Shut up and let me sleep.
Turing: Listen, you crusty old Victorian pervert! I'm not putting up
with this snotty attitude shit from you any more.
Babbage: <knocking on lid of coffin> Excuse me! Hello! Charles Babbage
here, inven-tor of the general computing device! Anyone?
Can you hear me? I'd like to apply to have my grave moved
a little farther away from Mr. Turing's. He's bothering
me again.
Turing: Oh, hush up! Anyways, I was talking about line ending
characters. They're using ASCII 0x0A0D instead of just 0x0A!
Can you believe it? Let's do the <spin spin spin> thing in
frustration and anger! <spin spin>
Babbage: <not spinning> What? What are you talking about? Ask-me
Yoda? Huh?
Turing: <spin spin> No, ASCII 0x0A0D. It's a combination of the
carriage return and line feed codes, rather than just a line
feed code. It's an outrage! <spin spin>
Babbage: What? Carriage whahoozit?
Turing: <spin spin> Yeah, apparently they hooked up our machines to
some kind of automatic print-making device, and some people
use the wrong codes to control the digital print-making
device.
Babbage: You mean, they tell the computational print-making device to
return to the beginning of the line, and then go to the next
line, rather than just going to the next line and scrolling
down the far right side of the page forever?
Turing: YES! Exactly! <spinning somewhat less wholeheartedly> Uh, and
it's TERRIBLE and WRONG!
Babbage: Perhaps they could just employ a coolie or fellah to stand
next to the print-making machine and move the carriage to the
beginning of the line instead. It would save one calculation,
which takes 35 hours on my Universal Computing Device, and
it would be morally up-lifting for the colonials.
Turing: Uh, no, umm, we lost all the colonies after that big War I
told you about.
Babbage: Hrm. Well. Way to blow it, Turing.
Turing: I had nothing to do with it!
Babbage: Whatever. Anyways, in that case, without a boundless supply
of essentially free labor, I believe that emitting this
"return of carriage" code makes the most sense.
Turing: No!
Babbage: Yes!
Turing: OK, but let's spin anyways!
Babbage: OK!
Turing: <spin spin spin>
Babbage: <spin spin spin>
~Mr. Bad
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