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Thu Jun 17 10:48:28 PDT 2004
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Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced
to twenty years in solitary confinement. They're each allowed one thing to
bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books.
The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for two hundred
cartons of cigarettes. At the end of the twenty years, they open up the
first guy's cell . He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright
now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific." They open up the second guy's
door. He comes out with his wife , and they've got five new kids. He says.
"It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so
close. I have a beautiful new family. I love i t." They open up the third
guy's door, and he's slapping at his pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob
buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill¡®s yard. For
one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it
to use the bathroom in Bill¡®s yard. After about a year and a half of Bob¡®s
cow crapping in Bill¡®s yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up
in front of Bill¡®s house. Bob runs over and demands to know what¡®s in the
18-wheeler. ¡®My new pet elephant,¡® Bill replies solemly.
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