[CrackMonkey] Perl (fwd)

[Mr.Bad]

>>>>> "JS" == Jay Sulzberger <jays at panix.com> writes:

    JS> Yes.  That course of action will result in lower total costs,
    JS> more satisfied and productive staff, and better web pages.

...and your ROI is going to GO THROUGH THE ROOF!

I've got proof RIGHT HERE -- a study by an INDEPENDENT THIRD-PARTY
RESEARCH CENTER based in SPARKS, NEVADA -- that shows CONCLUSIVELY
that the combination of Guile + Goops will improve your bottom line
not

        10!

not
        20!

but an explosive:

        ONE HUNDRED TIMES!

Don't take my word for it! Look at the figures and decide for
yourself. Here is a histogram of your staff productivity and customer
effectiveness using various different programming languages:

          Value -> (larger numbers are better)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Perl      ||||
Superlang ||||||
Python    |||
Goops     ||||||||||||||||||
Guile     ||||||||||||||||

Top scientists at research academies around the world use "histograms"
to compare numbers. And this scientific study performed by an
INDEPENDENT RESEARCH FACILITY in SPARKS, NEVADA, is going to use the
expressive power of histograms to show exactly how YOU can turn Guile
and GOOPS into a money-making machine!

NOTE in the histogram above that Guile and Goops, taken separately,
CLEARLY exceeds the capacity of other programming languages HANDS
DOWN. But watch what happens when we COMBINE Guile and GOOPS into a
winning combination:

            Value -> (larger numbers are better)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Perl        ||||
Superlang   ||||||
Python      |||
Guile+Goops ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Taken together, value is increased astronomically! We call this effect
"Syner-guile" (TM) -- and that means that YOU are going to make MONEY,
MONEY, MONEY!

Maybe you think you should wait and see. But can you really afford it?
RIGHT NOW your COMPETITORS are harnessing the MONEY-MAKING DYNAMO of
GUILE and GOOPS to eat your fucking lunch. They're doing it right now!
While you're listening to me! Driving down prices! Stealing your
customers! Making off-color suggestions to your teenage daughters
outside the record store! And INCREASING ROI.

That's right -- they're getting tons and tons of ROI while you're not
getting SHIT in terms of ROI. Your ROI would be a sad, sad joke if it
wasn't too pitiful even to be a sad joke.

You need to ACT NOW and SEIZE YOUR DESTINY. Be the engineering manager
you've always wanted to be!

~Mr. Bad

-- 
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 /\____/\   Mr. Bad <mr.bad at pigdog.org>
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