[CrackMonkey] [[Tek] brazilian eggs]

Ben benb at netins.net
Sun Jul 9 19:56:26 PDT 2000

Bryan Fullerton wrote:
> Their study concluded that the safe location for the president was at a
> distance of 150 to 180 feet, even if targeted by a champion egg-thrower.
> At that distance, Folha said, a person's head would appear as large as a fly
> 12 feet away.

Obviously, the Brazilian authorities don't have to worry about the high
accuracy of American pneumatic egg guns, which, in the last year alone,
have nailed more than 50 of our nation's leaders. The accuracy on the
typical egg gun carried by the typical angry protester can hit a typical
politician in the typical head with 95% accuracy at 100 yards, which,
coincidentally, is the same distance I try to be from said typical
politicians at all times.

The only reason you don't hear of egg attacks on the nightly news is
because, unlike cream pies launched by the more clown-like protesters,
an egg gun can be easily made, unlike a cream pie, and can seriously
injure the target immediately, whereas the cream pie takes a few years
before causing heart disease, severe obesity, etc.


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