[CrackMonkey] we don't need

[Aaron Lehmann]

On Mon, Apr 23, 2001 at 11:41:04PM -0400, ercole at speakeasy.org wrote:
> http://reedheustis.com/

OMG!@!@ textfilez!!$!

http://www.reedheustis.com/issues/03222001.txt

What's the number?? And can I use my spanky new 2400 baud?


I love how they mix in scam art with the religious tripe:


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But my favorite:


	[1]   L.A. DODGERS SURRENDER TO 
	      HOMOSEXUAL POLITICAL PRESSURES

	           BY:  Reed R. Heustis, Jr.      <><


	They once proudly featured the family-friendly "Best
	buy in town".  But, with the historic sale of the Los
	Angeles Dodgers baseball club from the O'Malley family
	to a faceless media conglomeration, the Dodgers continue
	to set new lows.  Under the partial ownership of FOX,
	the price of tickets have skyrocketed, ugly billboards
	have plastered the park, and annoying pop music has 
	replaced much of the traditional serenity of the Dodger
	organ.

	However, although big annoyances, these changes pale in
	comparison to the Dodgers' recent cowardly surrender to
	militant homosexual political and legal pressure.


...


I could go on and on, with stuff like this:

	Not long ago I waltzed into an American department store 
	in an American mall in an American suburb to buy some 
	American swimming trunks.  Although the variety of 
	styles of swimming trunks were enormous, I failed to 
	locate just one - JUST ONE! - pair of American-made 
	swimming trunks.  Most were made in third world 
	countries, most particularly Red China.  (Even the pair 
	which featured an American flag sown on it had been made 
	in China!)  Where can an honest-to-goodness American 
	citizen buy some good ol' American swimming trunks 
	nowadays?