MOTD

So, like, three weeks ago, I got my first moderator points EVER on <a href="http://slashdot.org/">slarshdoat</a>. Which was kind of weird; although I've been reading /. since way back when, I've never really been much of a slashdot good citizen or anything. We're talking about 7 years as a total spectator on the /. social schene.

But then here I was, participating in the most talked-about moderation system on the World Wide Squirrel. Mr. Moderator and shit. Wow! Me! A moderator!

Yeah, I know, it's totally old-hat for most people. Pooh pooh, silly slarshdoat. BUT THEN IT HAPPENED TO ME! I'm no longer too cool for slarshdoat. I've got a JOB TO DO. I've got me some SOCIAL SOFTWARE to PARTICIPATE IN. So I decided to just get cracking.

First, I dutifully read the <a href="http://slashdot.org/moderation.shtml">moderation guidelines</a>, and thought deep and hard about the tips presented there. I guess I'd have to be really fair and decent with my mod points, using the for the Greater Good and not just for my own self-aggrandizement.

And then I read that I could only have the points for 3 days. THREE DAYS!!?!? How am I supposed to have Rhadamanthus-like judgement in only THREE DAYS!?

So, then I was on a roll. Gotta hurry, gotta use up these points in three days! If I don't use 'em up, I'm gonna get in trouble. Don't wanna get reprimanded on my first day on the job! Gotta make a good first impression! Use those mod points briskly and well.

So I jumped into an article that was like 14 hours old, with 300 comments or so. Lots of stuff to mod, there! But it was already over-picked. Everything that was funny was already marked "Funny: 5", and everything that used the N-word was already at -1. I had no place in this conversation. Even the stuff that said "Moderators, mod this up!" had already modded to 5 or -1.

But then, as I was moping and worrying that I was never gonna be a good moderator, a NEW ARTICLE came out. Brand new! Like FIRST-POST new! And so I jumped in! And I changed some racist slur to a -1! And a joke to a +2! And then something, and something else! And then I hit moderate, and all my mod points were gone! Gah!

So, I guess what I'm saying is that being a Slashdot moderator is a job I take seriously for no good reason. Weirdly, I seem to get mod points every time I read the site, now. I'm like the Best Moderator Ever and I'm just blessed with mod points. I feel like I've set off some cheatcode somewhere.