"...and unto dust you shall return."
I realise that bizarre timing appears to have made this Rooster year a "widow"
year. The same bizarreness is also messing with my own perception of time as
pancake day seems to be occurring way too early. Living in the mid-west no longer offers the
opportunity to associate the start of the lenten season with the beginning of
spring (I know there's another couple of months of yucky weather to go) but
this year is just conspiring to keep things extra-gloomy (more shriveling
than shriving going on). For as long as I can remember I have given up sweets
(U.S. = "candy") and biscuits (U.S. = "cookies"). When I was young I had a
sweet tooth and this really hurt. After that it didn't bother me so I had to
add some other activities. At this point it is just the surrendering of control
that hurts. I have been pondering why this should be and am wondering if it is due
to the death of illusion. In the past I could tolerate temporary discomfort
for expectations of better things. While I am certainly no nihilist and still
enjoy striving for something better I am no longer expecting any sudden
change. This is a good thing. It harkens back to my previous reminder
that this is not a practice run. I can't just sit around and wait for
something wonderful to happen (although I can certainly hope for it). The
illusion of the guaranteed "and they all lived happily ever after" is just a
recipe for complacency. Any passivity should be actively chosen rather than
being a lazy default. That's why the wording of the admonition involves "...those
who help themselves.".