[CrackMonkey] Holy Crap!

[warren mann]

Check it out, Craig!  I found "Open Source Collaboration" when I was
going through my old email!  I thought I'd lost it forever!  You guys on
this mailing list are SO lucky!

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open source man and the naked and petrified guy bring you the event that
will rock the millenium...


natalie portman: copyrighted, undistributable, open sourced, naked and
petrified!
now with a new easy-carry handle!

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imagine prowling the streets with this baby!

ethyl newt: look at that young man, john. isn't that natalie portman
he's carrying?!
john: why yes, ethyl newt, i believe it is! what a handsome, easy-carry
handle!
ethyl newt: look at how cool he is! i'll bet he has lots of chic disco
friends!
john: that's one statue i'd like to feel up!
ethyl newt: oh, john!
they laugh together

yes... everyone will have fun and togetherness with their new
copyrighted, undistributable open sourced naked and petrified
actress!

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N E W ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

now with every open source magic petrification ray equipped aibo, you
will receive the phone number, street address and social
security number of your favorite young actress!

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NEWS FLASH
KASPAROV BEATS WORLD WITH NATALIE PORTMAN!

in a final move showing his usual inspiration, kasparov moved his
copyrighted undistributable open sourced shrunken naked and
petrified natalie portman queen chess piece to checkmate "world!"
"how will you celebrate, mr. kasparov," one reporter asked.
"you know... you know, " mr. kasparov replied, as he stroked his naked
and petrified queen.

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roger ebert: mr. lucas, what do you think of natalie portman being open
sourced, naked and petrified?
george lucas: i always knew she was a solid performer and i've always
wanted to carress her smooth butt.

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NATALIE PORTMAN IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE!!!

natalie portman: hello, pokey, i am natalie portman. i am copyrighted,
undistributable and open sourced.
pokey: i have a gift for you, natalie!
natalie portman: yes!! pokey hands natalie portman a wrapped package.
she opens it.
natalie portman: thank you pokey!! i have always wanted an aibo!
pokey presses the petrification button on his remote control.
pokey: tee-hee!
natalie portman: i am petrified pokey!! thank you!! please feel me up
now!!
pokey: yes!!

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ESR COMMENTS FURTHER ON HIS NEWFOUND WEALTH

i think the best part of my newfound riches is this fine collection of
copyrighted undistributable open source naked and petrified
young actresses i keep in my garden!
who else, but a rich open source leader could have the accumulated
wealth to afford 50 aibos?
one day, i hope to have enough money to petrify stallman. he would be a
handsome reward, indeed!

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MAE LING MAK NAMED OFFICAL STONE OF WASHINGTON STATE!!!!

in an unprecedented vote, the state legislature of washington state
named the recently copyrighted undistributable open source
naked and petrified mae ling mak the official state stone!
"we think ms. mak embodies everything washington state stands for," said
governor gary locke, "she's copyrighted, undistributable,
open sourced, naked and petrified. these are qualities any state would
be proud to be identified with!"

mae ling will be displayed at the state capitol from 9:00am to 5:30pm
every monday through friday.
"all of our citizens are encouraged to come and cop a feel," stated the
governor, "we look forward to the spirit of fun and
togetherness this will encourage."

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LATER, IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE!!!

POKEY: HELLO, I AM TO SHOW MY COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE OPEN SOURCE
PETRIFIED NATALIE
PORTMAN STATUE TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!!

COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE OPEN SOURCE PETRIFIED NATALIE PORTMAN
STATUE: HELLO
SKEPTOPOTAMUS!!! I AM NUDE AND STONE!!!

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!

POKEY: THE SPIRIT OF ARISTOTLE GUIDES MY ACTIONS!

NATALIE: POKEY YOU ARE SO SEXY WHEN THE SPIRIT OF ARISTOTLE GUIDES YOUR
ACTIONS YOU MUST RUB
MY MARBLE BUTTOCKS FOR GOOD LUCK

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: THIS VIOLATION OF THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS WILL SURELY LEED
TO ANARCHY

NATALIE: SILENCE, KNAVE! NOW FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT!

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: NO!!!!! COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE OPEN SOURCE PETRIFIED
NAKED STONE NATALIE
PORTMAN STATUE HAS DESTROYED MY HOUSE!!!

POKEY: THAT IS THE PRICE YOU PAY, DIRTY COMMUNIST!

NATALIE: I HAVE STONE NIPPLES

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!

*THE END*

LITTLE GIRL: IT IS NOT THE END!!

NATALIE: HELLO SMALL CHILD DO YOU YEARN FOR LESBIAN NAKED AND PETRIFIED
OPEN SOURCE COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE ACTION!!!!

LITTLE GIRL: MY VULVA ACHES TO TASTE PETRIFICATION!

POKEY: NOW YOU WILL BE A OPEN-SOURCE STATUE AS WELL!!!

LITTLE GIRL: BY THE STARS! A STATUE I BE!!

NATALIE: CURSES!!! THE ITALIANS ARE COMING, TO BRING THEIR COMMUNISM AND
THEIR UNCOPYRIGHTED
PROPRIETARY DISTRIBUTABLE SOFTWARE THAT IS NOT A STATUE!!

LITTLE GIRL: POKEY! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO!

POKEY: YES! I SUMMON COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE OPEN SOURCE NAKED AND
PETRIFIED MAE LING
MAK LINUX MINIATURE STATUE!!!

MAE LING MAK: I AM A SEXY NUDE OPEN-SOURCE STATUE!

POKEY: I AM TO THROW YOU AT THE ITALIANS!!

NATALIE: UPON STRIKING THE CRANIUM OF THE ITALIANS, THE SMALL MAE LING
MAK STATUE HAS
RENDERED THEM INCAPABLE OF ATTACKING!

LITTLE GIRL: BEWARE! SHE IS BEING USED AS A COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE
OPEN SOURCE NAKED AND
PETRIFIED SEXUAL DEVICE BY THE COMMUNIST ITALIANS!!!

MAE LING MAK: IT IS A GREAT JOY! I AM COVERED WITH CLOSED-SOURCE SEMINAL
FLUID!! MY MEMORIES
OF LINUX WORLD EXPO RETURN!!

RMS: YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER TELL THEM ABOUT THAT!!!

POKEY: SILENCE, JACKANAPE! I CALL DOWN A PLAUGE OF ENTROPY ON YOU!

RMS: I AM OVERCOME BY ENTROPY, AND PERISH!

LITTLE GIRL: MY SMALL PETRIFIED OPEN SOURCE BODY EXPERIENCES ORGASM!

NATALIE: AS DOES MINE!

MAE LING MAK: OH RMS I HARDLY KNEW YEEE. THE NAKED AND PETRIFIED
COPYRIGHTED OPEN SOURCE
ORGASM IS A DELIGHT TO BEHOLD!

POKEY: ALL THANKS TO THE WONDERS OF PETRIFIED BUTTOCKS!

LITTLE GIRL: TO PETRIFIED BUTTOCKS! CHEERS!

NATALIE: TO PETRIFIED BUTTOCKS!

MAE LING MAK: TO OPEN-SOURCE BUTTOCKS!

ITALIAN: TO SOAR OPEN BUTTOCKS! I AM A DIRTY SOCIOPATH!

NATALIE: TO DIRTY CLOSED-SOURCE SOCIOPATHS!!!

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: I WISH I HAD AN OPEN-SOURCE PETRIFIED GIRL

FAIRY GOD MOTHER: YOUR WISH WILL BE GRANTED

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: ARE YOU GAY

FAIRY GOD MOTHER: YES I AM GAY NOW I WILL GRANT YOUR WISH

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: I WISH FOR A GOLD MINITAURE OPEN-SOURCE COPYRIGHTED
UNDISTRIBUTABLE NAKED
PETRIFIED JESSICA ALBA STATUE WITH BREASTS MADE OF GOLD!!!

FAIRY GOD MOTHER: FOR YOUR GREEED SHALL YE BE CURSED!

SKEPTOPOTAMUS: CURSES!!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!

DIRTY ITALIAN: PETRIFIED MAE LING MAK IS THE BEST COPYRIGHTED
UNDISTRIBUTABLE OPEN-SOURCE
LOVER I HAVE EVER HAD EXCEPT FOR THE COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE
OPEN-SOURCE NAKED AND
PETRIFIED OLSEN TWIN STATUES

POKEY: DEATH TO BAD TV MOVIES

NATALIE PORTMAN: I YEARN TO TOUCH MY MARBLE OPEN-SOURCE COPYRIGHTED
UNDISTRIBUTABLE
CLITORIS, BUT I FIND MYSELF UNABLE!

POKEY: SUCH ARE THE HAZARDS OF BEING A STATUE!!!! THE SPIRIT OF
ARISTOTLE HAS LEFT ME! NOW I
WILL LICK NATALIE PORTMAN'S COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE OPEN-SOURCE
BODY!!!

NATALIE PORTMAN: MY OPEN-SOURCE COPYRIGHTED UNDISTRIBUTABLE NAKED AND
PETRIFIED CLITORIS
WISHES TO SPEAK

OPEN-SOURCE...etc...CLITORIS: !!HELLO!!

THE END
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thank you (from the both of us).

this is an open source troll, brought to you by the naked & petrified
guy and open source man.

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